111 | Discover Your Vitality Personality

Narrator 0:05

How would you like to improve your health and keep your family safe? You're listening to the Healthy Home hacks podcast, where we firmly believe enjoying optimal health shouldn't be a luxury. Healthy Home authorities and husband and wife team, Ron and Lisa will help you create a home environment that will level up your health. It's time to hear from the expert. Listen in on honest conversations and gain the best tips and advice. If you're ready to dive in and improve your well being and increase your energy, you're in the right place. All right. Here are your hosts, bio biologists, authors, media darlings, vicarious vegans and avocado aficionados, Ron and Lisa Beres,

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Ron Beres 1:45

Hi guys, quick question today, what's really keeping you from hacking into happiness? Today's guest has worked with hundreds of patients and has found that the key to living your best life lies in identifying your unconscious programming driven by your personality type and overcoming its limitations.

Lisa Beres 2:11

In her new book, your vitality personality, decode the real you and hack into happiness, Candace asserts that decoding your secret inner programming and releasing self sabotage allows you to discover the most potent and mighty aspects of yourself. It allows you to consciously see what has previously been hidden within your unconscious power, love, genius. She further explains that there are two opposing aspects to someone's personality type, the real you and your primal persona. The latter causes people to live in a permanent state of survival mode, causing them to make reactive choices with your vitality. Personality, Candace helps people break free of their primal persona and access their vitality personality, the most enlightened version of their personality type. Yes,

Ron Beres 3:05

and Lisa and I took her online quiz, and the results were insightful. We'll share the link at the end of the show so you can take the free quiz yourself to discover your own vitality personality. It's really cool, guys. It shows you how to determine which of the nine personality types you fall into. Our

Lisa Beres 3:24

guest Candice Thomas, and author of your vitality personality, is an award winning holistic health professional, Enneagram researcher and international speaker. She holds a bachelor's degree in Molecular and Cellular Biology, a master's degree in acupuncture and certifications as an Enneagram accredited professional and quantum healing hypnosis technique practitioner. Whoo, that's a mouthful. Candace has devoted her life to pursuing higher understanding of consciousness and the source of vitality. Welcome

Ron Beres 3:58

to the show, Candace. Yes,

Candice Thomas 4:03

thank you. Thank you for that great introduction. I appreciate that. Oh,

Lisa Beres 4:07

you are a very interesting person. I will say your bio is definitely like none we've ever read before.

Candice Thomas 4:14

It is about folks who you're right.

Unknown Speaker 4:16

I can't even

Candice Thomas 4:18

say some of the words I know everything I'm into it's hard to say,

Lisa Beres 4:23

Okay, we'll get clear the air on that. Well, welcome to the show, Candace. We are thrilled to have you with us today, and I want to dive right in, because this is a big juicy topic. So your new book is called your vitality personality, and in it, you describe nine different personality types. Why is it important for people to identify our personality type?

Candice Thomas 4:44

So your personality type is way more than like a fun, curious quiz to take. Your personality type includes all of your unconscious programming, all of your ego stuff, basically what we would call. Your shadow side that is installed. It's in there, but you don't realize it. And so that is the secret saboteur that's kind of holding you back from what you say you want, but then you don't have the behaviors that get you there. That's the sabotage that's built into the personality type. And then the flip side of that is actually there's incredible genius built into your personality type. You have special strengths and talents that all the other types do not have, and that when you get to engage with that aspect, that's like your happiest life, like you're your most fulfilled when you get to really live as your favorite self. So you need to learn about kind of the shadow side so that you can manage it and access that really exciting side,

Lisa Beres 5:50

right? So your exciting side is called, What is that called? Again,

Candice Thomas 5:54

that's your vitality personality, okay? And

Lisa Beres 5:57

then your primal persona is your shadow. Now, if you took that at different periods in your life, would this test come up completely different depending what was going on? Yeah,

Candice Thomas 6:06

it would come up differently. I try to really remind you, when you're taking the quiz that if you have changed over time, answer for how you've kind of always been answer for yourself when you were like 20 something, that's sort of when you're you're most owned by your ego. You know,

Lisa Beres 6:28

some people are made into their

Candice Thomas 6:30

water percentage. But you know, most of us do start to realize over time, like, I keep doing it this way, and it's not working out for me, maybe I should change this up, right? So we want to find out that initial core personality type. So sometimes you're answering for how you used to be,

Lisa Beres 6:49

right? Okay, so

Ron Beres 6:50

it's funny behind the scenes, we're actually sharing with you what our personality types were, yes,

Lisa Beres 6:55

and it's a robust questionnaire. I was actually so surprised. Sometimes you take these online quizzes and it's like four questions. I mean, yours is, what, 50 something? Yeah, it's

Candice Thomas 7:04

like 60 something questions, and that's actually half the length that it used to be. Oh, you know, I need it to be long enough to type you accurately, but not so long that you're so bored you give up taking it right, right? Yeah, we found a happy medium.

Lisa Beres 7:21

So there's no one bad type. Whatever number you are, you've got this positive and negative, and you're just trying to focus on the more positive and break that negative.

Candice Thomas 7:30

That's right, yeah, there's no winning type. There's no there are certain types who are really competitive, and want to think that their types.

Ron Beres 7:41

I'll tell I'll tell mine. Mine was the architect, right type one? I was like, wow, I really like parts of this and other parts, right? So yeah, I

Lisa Beres 7:50

think I'm a seven, but I gotta double check. I'm pretty sure I'm a seven. Yeah, okay, yeah. So that's interesting, yeah.

Ron Beres 7:57

So we kind of talked about you. So walk us through the two different halves. Again, one is the primal persona and one is the vitality personality. How do we balance that? I mean, are we usually a 5050, split in that? Are we trying to be 100% of our higher self? What's the process? Well, that's

Candice Thomas 8:12

such a great question. I would say that basically, this is survival programming that generally gets triggered in your childhood. So the more stressful your childhood was, probably the darker your dark side is showing up for you. You are more and more in survival mode. That's how you learned to cope as a child, right? So occasionally I meet people who didn't really have much trauma as a child, and they are kind of living as their high side without even having to work on it's really fascinating. You know, occasionally you'll meet really it's the younger I find the younger generation are kind of a higher consciousness. I do. I find that the young people have more openness than most of us do. Is

Ron Beres 9:03

that because everybody wins and everyone hugs each other at the end of the game, why is that? Yeah.

Candice Thomas 9:14

I mean, you know, it's pretty rare to be the one who got the really easy household to grow up in, right? Most of us came up in households where our parents didn't know this stuff either, and neither did their parents. And it's just you pass on generations, yeah, yeah, pass

Lisa Beres 9:28

on things if you're not working on them. Okay, so how can listeners figure out which type they fit into? So

Candice Thomas 9:34

they should go and take the free quiz that will help you get on track. I have a shorter version that I do when I'm face to face with somebody, but it's so

Ron Beres 9:46

sneaky. Candace, so you're analyzing us, and I'm the architect and that's the judger, but you said you weren't, so you have a little bit of architect in you. Is that what's going on?

Candice Thomas 9:55

Yes, well, I'm a type seven, all the personality type. Types have arrows, or what they're called, that connect you to certain other types, and that means that you also share traits with this other type. So a type seven has an arrow to type one, where the seven, when they're under duress first they start exhibiting the more stressed out aspects of the primal persona, and they start taking on the primal persona of the arrow. And then there's the second arrow, where, that's your growth arrow, where, if you're in a great place in your life, and you're kind of expanding, you tend to take on more of the attributes of this other type. So ones and sevens. Sevens are the growth direction. For a one, they become more playful as they're elevating their consciousness. And for the seven who can be that undisciplined type, they become actually more controlled, more organizing. They get things together as their life is getting so

Lisa Beres 10:59

like balance each other, the ones and sevens, Martin, that's us, right? You're a one, right? That's very interesting.

Candice Thomas 11:05

I mean, they should balance each other because we're just mad at the other person for not being like us, right?

Lisa Beres 11:10

Yeah, right, yeah, we all do that. Wow, yeah. Which

Ron Beres 11:14

other personality types kind of balance each other? What other numbers would

Candice Thomas 11:19

Okay, so all the types would have couple types that are balancing them. So the type two, their growth arrow is to type seven. Their breakdown arrow is to type four, which is called the diva. So in that case, the one goes from being real structured and disciplined, but under duress, they start to feel kind of for themselves and getting more emotional and inflammatory. It's really not their normal nature. And so when you start seeing right, a real, structured, logical type, one starting to act more emotional and kind of throwing a pity party and all that kind of stuff. They're in there for, right? They're

Lisa Beres 12:03

in there. So type two, let's see, does sound like you? Oh no,

Ron Beres 12:08

that wasn't me. That's a different one. That's

Lisa Beres 12:10

a one, right? The one in the four, that's, yeah,

Candice Thomas 12:12

you're a type one, yeah. Oh, interesting. Goes to negative four, yeah. So we just call it positive and negative. It's not that tidy, but for conversation purposes,

Lisa Beres 12:22

listeners, when you get the results first you read the good part, and you're like, oh yeah, that's me. That's me.

Ron Beres 12:29

I'm so amazing,

Lisa Beres 12:30

so amazing. And then you get down to the shadow part, and you're like, What

Candice Thomas 12:40

do that. It is a little bit of a punch to the gut, but kind of the point is that all of that is stuff you didn't realize about yourself, but it's going on, right? And so that's why it's a saboteur, is that you have a dark side, and you you have no idea it's there, but the people who are in relationship with you are well aware that it's there, right? That's interesting.

Ron Beres 13:03

It's 63 questions, right? 63 questions, yeah. So, I mean, it's detailed, so it's giving you, I guess, very accurate results, so you can't really fight it. So let's say someone takes the quiz, right? And once someone identifies a personality type, what next? Like? How do they transition out of unconscious programming that holds them

Candice Thomas 13:24

back? That's a great question. And sort of the what do I do with this information? So in the book, you're going to read more about your type, and of course, we start out with the hard stuff, because that's all the problem areas, right? And so just reading about your type, probably 50% of that you're going to clean up right away. As soon as you see it. You're like, Okay, I don't like that. I'm not doing that anymore, and it's not really that big of a deal to reckon with it. And then the other 50% even if you're trying your hardest to fix this stuff, it's probably stuff you'll be keeping an eye on for the rest of your life. So really the key, the hinge between being in your primal persona and being in your vitality personality is basically your level of self love and your degree of happiness with your life. The way I teach it, is that high side of your personality type is basically your Higher Self shining through. That's how your Higher Self wanted to be in the world. They picked this personality type because this is how you really want to serve in the world. And so they're always your higher self is permanently in a state of love and joy and peace. So whenever you get yourself into that state, you can just trust that you're aligned. You're making higher choices, and we've all just experienced that. Right when you're under duress, you're definitely reaching for your comfort food. Right, when you're happy and fulfilled, you can actually say, I'm good without it. I can go, you know, I'm. But I mean, you just sort of naturally make the better choice when you are in a higher state of mind, right? So I teach techniques that I call the real you, methods to help you get out of the mind, help you calm down that nervous system so that you can move yourself into your heart and that higher mind which connects you to the higher self, right? There are techniques I love to teach people that most people have never heard of before that really make a difference in sort of bringing you back over and over again to who you really want to be, right?

Lisa Beres 15:32

That was one of my next questions, because in your book, you do talk about journaling no matter what your personality type is. Can you tell us about some of the other exercises you suggest.

Candice Thomas 15:41

So I have three methods that are for everybody, and then I highlight some other techniques by type, depending on special needs for that type. So my general techniques, one I call the sway, and it literally is rocking side to side, left to right, but really making an S in the spine right all the way down, and you start and letting the jaw relax, letting the neck, like you can feel all that tension in there, right? And so we're dropping our energy, our attention, into the heart while we're doing that, like I'm not thinking thoughts, I'm sort of because we're doing but so just closing your eyes and swaying like this, you're not thinking about anything, and your whole nervous system is settling down. Any pain and tension is releasing. These are all the things that are blocking us from our highest and best self, right? When our we've got a freaking out, nervous I've been stressed and upset, right? You're trying to relax, but you can't relax, or your mind is chatter, chatter, chatter, and you can't get it to shut up, you know, like all of that, it just sort of brings you to center, just by doing that for a minute or two.

Ron Beres 16:56

It really does. I can feel it. Yeah. I mean, I've never heard of that technique before, too. I know there's been times like on before, like being on camera or before podcasts, if you know, if you're just feeling anxiety for whatever reason, I used to clench my fists, and that releases energy with this. This is very, very sad. I feel calm from doing the zigzag s routine. Thank

Lisa Beres 17:16

you. This way,

Candice Thomas 17:18

yeah, this way.

Lisa Beres 17:20

It's almost like going back to our child like self, right, being rocked, right? Yeah, as that, I

Candice Thomas 17:26

think so. I think that is part of why it's effective, is, yeah, it is that sort of surrender. Everything's okay. I'm in good hands, you know? I don't need to worry about anything, right, right? Oh, wow,

Lisa Beres 17:38

were there any other techniques Besides, there are, there

Candice Thomas 17:40

are two more. So one is called the charged energy clearing. So when we have emotional, charged emotions, right, we're having a big reaction to something. We tend to try to just stamp it down, right. We don't really tend to say, well, what is feeling right now. And so when we ignore our feelings that are charged, they don't just disappear. They pack into our energy field, which becomes our physical health. So actually, our body, our aches and pains and illnesses in the different areas are specifically there and not somewhere else because of the motions that you've been feeling over and over again.

Lisa Beres 18:23

Oh, the pain. So the pain, yeah, an emotion, okay,

Candice Thomas 18:27

yeah. So like, low back pain is generally, I feel really burdened, right? I have too much pressure on me. A lot of people have, like, a stitch in the side on the left, and that's sort of like I'm stuck in a bad situation and there's no way out for me. So we have these repetitive thoughts that we which turn into feelings that we don't know what to do with, and so they wedge somewhere in the body. So you need a technique to not do that and to just fully process the feelings so that they're not continuing to come up for you. So that is basically just naming the feeling. So you got to slow down enough to admit that this is how I'm feeling, right? So maybe it's like I feel so resentful that I'm stuck in the caregiver role, right? Like I am just so over showing up for people who don't show up for me, right? So the technique is to see that that that's what you're going through, and you say to yourself, I love and accept the part of me who feels stuck, who I love, and accept the part of me who's feeling resentful right now I love and accept the part of me who believes there's no chance for me, it pulls you out of being in your story to actually watching yourself having a story. And when you realize it's just for this moment that I'm having this feeling like it's really not the story of my life, I don't need to get this charged up about this, right? But it's always pulling it into the heart the mind is where. Where the ego is chattering at us all day. So what we think is just that inner critic, or whatever. That's the ego. We really don't want to let that have control. So we're developing a practice of pulling our energy down into the chest instead, I like to say, if you picture like a hologram of an orb inside your mind, like that's where all the chatter is. You descend it down into the heart, and now you have a sense of, I'm holding an orb in my chest. It's just enough energy or attention there that now my mind is not chattering, right? And so that's a quick way to stop that cycle of mental chatter, you get into the heart, and then while sort of consciously seated in the chest, then you're saying, I love, and accept the part of me who feels stuck I love and accept the part of me who feels taken advantage of. It's just admitting to yourself that's how I feel, and letting yourself feel it, and that's all it takes to actually release it. And here we could spend a lifetime, right, trying not to feel something that's actually quite easy to

Lisa Beres 21:09

clear. Okay? So you don't have to go, I release it, or anything like that. You just have

Candice Thomas 21:13

to No, I picture like pulling my world into my chest, like I picture dismantling, like I pull in streaks of light until I've pulled this whole story inside. Now I got black all around me, right? And to just pull it all the way in, because it sort of stops that story from continuing. You just, you're

Lisa Beres 21:33

able to get into it. So when they're in a spiral, then they'll, that's right, like, you dropped a glass and it broke. Oh, now everything's bad, right? Now, it's like, oh, the carpets dirty, or it should have, you're right? And so you spiral. Then you see everything negative, right? Right? It becomes like, bigger than just that one thing,

Candice Thomas 21:52

right? So once you start to realize, Oh, look at me. Here I am in my story again, I've got a whole little pity party, you know, I'm trying for myself. That's when you just take a minute to stop and say, Okay, I love and accept the part of me who thinks all of life is annoying right now, like I've been

Lisa Beres 22:11

accepted. Yeah, they accept it. Yeah, that's powerful. So, like, a real granular question, because you and I are sevens, so if, if, should

Ron Beres 22:20

I leave the room for a second?

I'm not gonna judge you, too.

Lisa Beres 22:29

If we didn't have the techniques of swing or journaling or any of that, would the bad behavior be that we would do and something goes wrong? What's the typical behavior for a seven like, what would we do? So

Candice Thomas 22:41

it's escapism, right? Type sevens, as soon as they are feeling unhappy about something, they want out. They want immediate relief. So there's a lot of dropping what you should be doing and getting into what you prefer to be doing, right? And so it's basically self medicating. There are a lot of type sevens who are addicts, but a lot of it is not. It doesn't have to be drugs and alcohol. It could be shopping. It could be working out. It could be binge watching sex. Yeah, binge watching TV. Some of the behaviors are obvious and some are not, but it's basically I have my go to behaviors that I use as a way of making myself feel better, instead of being present with myself about how I'm actually feeling. Am I in a situation that's not good for me, or am I just acting out because type sevens tend to be starters, not finishers. We like the excitement of ideas. We like the beginnings of things when it all sounds fun and exciting, but as soon as it starts to get boring or tedious, you know, you're trying to get it to the finish line, that's where a lot of sevens give up. And so it's really unfortunate that sevens tend to not always see their stuff all the way through, and that's a huge form of self sabotage right now,

Ron Beres 24:05

put a higher version of type seven, see things to the end, and that's why they have so many great ideas. But you're your best self, and you took it to the end, and that's why. So that's the extraordinary part. But the challenge is the goal. That's

Lisa Beres 24:17

the goal, that's the goal, right, right? Yeah. So like she said, if you didn't have that past trauma, you might not be battling with that as much as someone else, right, correct, right? Because

Candice Thomas 24:29

that escapism got learned in childhood, usually for a type seven, it's a mom who won't meet your needs. It's some kind of neglect by mom and or that that's how we're seeing. Well, that's what I'm saying, is some have that trigger and some do not. And my mom was a very present mom, but she was a working mom, right? So we were the first generation of latchkeepers, right? Yes, right. And so you're just feeling that lack of nurturing. So whereas a type. One would sit down and do their homework. The type seven says, Where's popsicles? I'm watching some cartoons, right? I know interesting, so we learn early. I need some fun to make me feel better and never fill

Lisa Beres 25:16

that gap, yeah, wow, that's deep. Did you make up this whole system?

Candice Thomas 25:21

No, so that's the Enneagram. That word that's hard to say, E, N, N, E, A means nine, and gram means picture. So it's picture of nine personality types. So the Enneagram is an established Personality Typing system, but this sort of dual picture of it, the shadow side and the high side is my work, and the methods and the identification of the survival patterns and the sabotage patterns, all of that is new related to my research. Yeah. Okay,

Lisa Beres 25:59

very interesting.

Ron Beres 25:59

So Candace tell us the nine different types of the primal persona, just the primal persona or the vitality person, the type ones, the architect, right. Okay,

Candice Thomas 26:10

right. So the high side is the architect, the shadow side, or the primal persona of the type one is called the judge. So type ones have a genius for creating order and structure, they have a really intuitive sense of flow, but when they drop down into the ego side of it, it turns more into categorizing everything good, bad, right, wrong, should, shouldn't, right? So enabling everything to make it tidy. But of course, a lot of the gray area won't get acknowledged that way, right? So type two, that vitality personality, is called the altruist. So this is a real giving type, very loving, very warm and generous. When they're in their vitality personality, they are also entering their own boundaries. They are also making sure that they are stable and secure before they're putting themselves out there to take care of other people. But when they're in that primal persona, they become the victim. And type twos are not, oh, poor me, types of people. They're not a victim because they think of themselves that way. I've named them the victim because of how they always put themselves last, and they always insist on taking care of everyone else, but not themselves, and generally, that turns into being a giver who's aligned with the taker, and poor me, I'm always in a bad situation because I hook up with people who don't treat me well, right? So the type three, the primal persona, is called the luminary. These are all of our leaders. These are politicians. These are actors. These are CEOs or big achievers. However, when they get into the primal persona, the name is the pretender, because it's like they're leading with wanting to be famous instead of leading with here's who I am, and I have something important to offer, right? It's sort of like I skip who I am, and I just adopt a persona that looks successful. I start dressing like my hero. I start running with the kind of people I want to be seen with, and it's sort of building a persona from the outside in. So when they get into the luminary, they have enough self trust to authentically be who they are, even if that might not be the most popular image or the most conventional image, they're more willing to achieve with projects they actually really care about yeah right, instead of there's a lot of money making Yeah Right, right. Musician,

Lisa Beres 28:50

actors, right, for sure.

Candice Thomas 28:52

So the type four, the vitality personality, is called the creative these are the right brain people in a left brain world. They're highly intuitive, they're very imaginative, they're very visual, really inventive. When they get into the primal persona side, which is called the diva, it's more about I need to be seen as special. How come nobody acknowledges my unusual abilities, because mostly they've been told by their parents coming up, why are you such a problem? Why don't you fit in? How come you're not good at math? How come you don't do your homework on time? Or children really don't fit into our conventional education system, and it creates frustration for the parents, right? Like, why can't you just be an easy like, why not have to be high maintenance? Yeah, and so the four, very early on is being told you're a problem. There's something wrong with you, you're weird, and they really develop a complex about it, and now they're kind of constantly seeking approval and validation. Then, right? They get upset when they're not being seen how they want to be seen. So when they move into the creative they've left all of that needing external validation behind, and they're able to just fully enjoy being who they are and their own unique perspective, right?

Lisa Beres 30:16

And when they're unbalanced, it's all ego, and it's not being their true self, and so they're diminishing their creativity and their quirkiness, right? And not being unique because they feel like they need to be in that box. Yeah? Well, and when

Candice Thomas 30:29

you think about what being a creative person is, it's the opposite of trying to be like anybody else, right? You want to be totally unique, and yet, when you put yourself out there in a unique way, there's always going to be somebody who doesn't like it, doesn't think it's pretty, doesn't whatever, and you're like, crushed and devastated, right? Because you want everybody to love what? But when you really love yourself, and you really love your own imagination, you're just creating for your own joy, and it has nothing to do with what anybody else thinks, right? So it's releasing yourself from that desire that care about what other people think. Yeah, the type five, the vital question he did, you don't have to go into Oliver if you don't want to. No,

Lisa Beres 31:14

it's good. It's good. It's very interesting, because I'm sure people listening are, like, already identifying with which one they are. Just by hearing

Candice Thomas 31:19

Yeah, it's you're identifying with who you are. This sounds like your spouse. This sounds like your kids. This sounds like your boss, like you're immediately realizing, oh, all the world is filled with personality, right, right? Yeah. Do you want me to keep

Ron Beres 31:34

going? Let's go. People were like, I did not hear mine yet. So please tell me. Candace, what am I

Candice Thomas 31:39

so the type five the vitality personality is called the sage. These are our deep thinkers, very deep capacity for concentration and focus, introverts, but asking big, deep questions. These are our inventors and our visionaries, right? They're the ones who are finding all this information and then applying it to something useful. When they get into the primal persona that's called the miser and the top five in miser mode that's extremely private, like intensely introverted, and really doesn't want you to know anything about them, and they become more of an observer of life rather than a participant of life. So they're called the miser because they don't want to share they don't want to share themselves. They don't want to share their stuff. They don't want to share their knowledge and expertise. It's really closed down, right? So we want the type five to expand and connect and participate, because that's where you really get wisdom, is from doing right? You could read about it in a book, but that's not the same thing as getting in there and trying it yourself, right? So the type six, the vitality personality, is called the guardian. This is an integrity oriented type that type six is care very much about community and society and making sure everybody is being fair, is being honest. Things are functioning properly. There really are

Ron Beres 33:13

politicians that are not politicians. Typically, I'm joking.

Candice Thomas 33:17

I mean terror fixes in politics for sure, and then the primal persona is called the alarmist. So instead of making things more stable, which is what the Guardian would do, they're actually freaking out at all potential change, right? Wherever some new concept is coming along, or a foreign person, or a strange something, they're sure it's about to be bad. They really resist any news. Feels like it's rocking the boat, and so they tend to get big flashes of upset out of nowhere. It takes them by surprise, takes other people by surprise. So that move into the Guardian, has a lot to do with managing anxiety, with being present, instead of going to this imaginary storytelling, right? It's keeping yourself stable so that you can face the challenge, instead of spas about the challenge, right? Type seven, we've covered a lot already, the vitality personality is called the uplifter. So they are ones who elevate other people's vibe, right? So there are a lot in the entertainment industry, like all our really funny, silly people, you know, our type sevens. I think Jim Carrey, I was just gonna say seven Williams, yeah, I think, I don't know about the daughter, but I think Goldie Hawn is the seven, right? Smiley, laughing, playful, but when they're in that primal persona, the hedonist, instead of being uplifting, they're being escapist, right? So it's not like I'm elevating you with love and. Good humor in bunk and being really silly. It's not the same thing, you know? Okay, they

Lisa Beres 35:06

have the heat in this thing too.

Candice Thomas 35:08

Is it? Type seven is what we're talking about. Oh, you're

Lisa Beres 35:10

doing seven. I thought you skipped, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, oh

Candice Thomas 35:13

no. So that was seven. So type eight, the vitality personality, is the leader. This is our most forceful, powerful type. They have big energy. They bring about big change. They're really about helping empower other people. So we love Martin Luther King as a great example of a type eight who launched a whole movement of self empowerment, right? Yeah. But the primal persona version of that is called the bully, where they've decided step aside, I'm in charge. We're doing it my way. You be quiet, and they just get super controlling and dominating about what they think is the way to do it. So there are a lot of issues with anger and control, okay, related to that primal process,

Lisa Beres 35:59

the ego? Yeah, little ego, I'm always

Candice Thomas 36:02

in the way, right? And then the type nine, the vitality personality, is called the healer. And that's not because they're all MDs, it's because they have a healing presence. They are very calm, they're very kind, they're very generous. They forgive you your bad mood. They don't make you apologize for what you said yesterday. They let you be who you are. They give you a lot of grace, and that's incredibly healing for everybody else to be around, right? People who just let me be who I am makes me feel safe and I can lower my guard, right? Right? So the primal persona version of that is called the submissive, where they're trying to create a peaceful environment by never asserting their opinion about anything, right? And so they're trying to just go along with what other people want. But the problem is sometimes not good. Stuff is going down right, and somebody needs to speak out, and the nine will not speak out, and so they're letting a lot of maybe negative stuff happen because they don't know how to speak up and say, That's not right. I don't think we should do that, or kind of look the other way and sweep stuff under the rug. So it's important that the type nine finds their voice and speaks out, because in order to be the healer, it needs to be a stable, safe environment, right?

Lisa Beres 37:31

Right? Yeah, wow. You can see that. You can see all the people as you're explaining it. It's like, oh, I'm thinking of that person and that person and that person, yeah, but you know, until you take

Ron Beres 37:39

the free quiz, right, right? So Candice in your research with patients, do you see trends among personality types when it comes to happiness and well being?

Candice Thomas 37:48

I do, as we discussed, it has a lot to do with whether you're in your primal persona or your vitality personality, right? So anybody in the vitality personality is probably pretty happy, but in terms of trends, we can divide those types up into thirds. So there's the assertive types. That's types three, seven and eight. They have big energy, and they have go for it energy. So they're more inclined to set their life up the way they like it, they're more inclined to say, no, I'm sorry that doesn't work for me. I would like to do it this way, right? So there's probably a higher degree of satisfaction. Of course, they're still sabotaging themselves in other ways, but right in general, I think the assertive group would tell you they generally feel pretty happy. Then there's the withdrawn types. That's the types four, five and nine. They feel the opposite about their energy. They feel like they don't have enough energy to go around. They're introverts, they're quiet people, and so they find like taking on drama is too much. They just rather give you what you want, because they don't feel like dealing with it, right? So when you start letting other people make your choices for you, they're choosing for themselves, not for you in general, right? So you are going to be less happy if you're not speaking up for what you want and you're letting somebody else decide, right? So there's can be unhappiness in that way. But I will say that it's the third group, the dutiful group, types, one, two and six, who really care about their responsibilities, who really believe in meeting expectations, doing what you should be doing. Those are the unhappiest people, in my opinion. Oh, wow, yeah,

Ron Beres 39:36

if you're your vitality personality saved, right? So, well, correct,

Candice Thomas 39:42

but I'm just gonna say they're like, buy

Lisa Beres 39:43

the book. They'll do what's right, even at the expense of their happiness. Is that?

Candice Thomas 39:47

Why? Yes, and because there's an underlying belief that it's selfish for me to put my needs first. That's bad and wrong for me to pick what I want to do. I. Should be self sacrificing. I should take care of other pay. I should put my needs last, like that's the belief. And so those are all the choices. They're always putting themselves last. So that's going to make you pretty unhappy pretty quick. And yes, it's true, everybody, when they get into the vitality personality side, are much happier with their life, I would say, in a clinical setting, I'm mostly meeting unhappy people, right, right, right. You know, they're in my office because things aren't going well. They're

Lisa Beres 40:30

not like being great. Chat with you today. Well, it's interesting. We also did, went down the Human Design path and did those tests. And Ron is a generator, and I'm a man Gen, that's a different show, but generators are like a hard no and a hard Yes, and matches what you're saying with the type one, right, right?

Candice Thomas 40:52

Those are very concrete, yeah,

Ron Beres 40:55

being talked about, hey, Candace,

Lisa Beres 40:57

let's have a session. Do they overlap? Do you think human design? Do you think there's overlap with what you do, or is that

Candice Thomas 41:02

they do? I think they overlap with astrology. It's basically these are archetypes, right? And there are many systems that are trying to explain the archetypes that we see, right? So we may give them different names, but the descriptions seem always to be that same guy, right?

Lisa Beres 41:20

Okay, interesting, yeah. So what about someone's personality type determining their love relationships? Does that impact it?

Candice Thomas 41:28

Yeah. I mean, everybody's favorite question is, which is the best type for me, right? And I would say that that's not a thing, no. Anger is not an ideal match. There's always going to be ways in which you overlap and ways in which you are different, and in either direction, that could be good or bad, overlapping could be great, right? That we agree or overlapping could be we're toxic in the exact same way, right? You know, right? And being opposite could mean I'm always in friction with you. We never agree on anything. Or it could be, Wow, you really balanced me out. I do it this way, and you do it that way, and together, we're really good together, right, right? So it's actually more about your level of self awareness and basically your emotional intelligence, your ability to take responsibility for your feelings, to take responsibility for your reality that you're creating it. It's not happening to me. It's coming from me. So the more you're willing to take accountability for yourself, the more harmonious your relationships with other people will be, regardless,

Lisa Beres 42:39

in life there for sure. Well,

Ron Beres 42:41

Candace, Why might it be helpful for parents to know their own personality types? So do they need to know their children's type as well? And do you see or tend to see a variety of personality types within a family? Oh,

Candice Thomas 42:54

wow, that's a cool question. Okay, so first with the parents, the parents should 100% know their personality type, so that you can see what your strengths are and what your problem areas are, because your children are experiencing all of that from you, right? But also it really shows you. I mean, when you haven't heard of personality types, you just assume the way you're doing it, or the way you think of it is how everybody thinks about like that's just normal. That's just what people do, right? So once you realize, actually there's nine different types with nine totally different world views and belief systems, you soften your position, right? You realize, okay, I need to be more adaptable than this, because other people are not going to get it right. So it helps you be a better parent to know who you are. And now young people, they're not going to be able to type themselves right. They don't have self awareness yet to the degree where they could take the quiz, so you're guessing, you could end up being wrong. But I feel you're better off trying to guess than just not right, because you can start to see that, well, this child wants to be parented this way, but this child needs something totally different, and I don't get it. So now you're starting to understand what your child needs from you, right? Rather than trying to force them to adapt to how you do it, right, you're more willing to adapt yourself because you're the adult, right? Yeah, you are more able to adapt yourself to meet the needs of the

Lisa Beres 44:27

child, right? That's really interesting. So much parents have to do. Here's another thing, guys. So in your research, Candice, Did you discover anything about health and well, being across the different personality types?

Candice Thomas 44:39

Yeah, that was the most exciting thing that has come out of the research, is that I really started to see, wow. I'm treating all the type ones for neck and jaw and shoulder tension, you know. But I like treating all the type twos for sciatica, oh, yeah, you know. So you really start to see the different personality. Types end up with similar kinds of ailments.

Lisa Beres 45:03

Runs a great yeah. I

Ron Beres 45:05

used to really clench my teeth, yes, yeah. Grinder, yeah.

Candice Thomas 45:09

Type ones, I have found hold their breath all the time. They care so much about that to do list about get doing it all right, and getting it all done. And they're kind of marching through the day, right? And you're holding your breath, like, first I have to pick up the kids, and then I need to drop off the dry cleaning, and then I need to get to my workout, and then I right. And you're like, So closing down, right? So closing down that diaphragm, yeah, and not descending the breath down into the belly is creating an enormous amount of pressure in the chest, the neck and the shoulders, and then they're also gritting because they feel frustration all day that everybody else is not behaving properly, right? And they're feeling frustrated. So there's just an enormous amount of tension in the neck and shoulders, but basically breathing down into the belly. Yeah.

Ron Beres 46:02

How can we fix type seven? I

Lisa Beres 46:04

really wait. I want to say one thing, Brad and I go on hikes a lot, and we'll bring our hand weights and things, and I will say to Ron, run, breathe. You're not breathing like I will literally. How often do I say that, Ron, all the time, like you're not I don't hear you breathing. You're not breathing, right? Is

Ron Beres 46:18

part of your personality? Is the nagging part, or how does that work?

Candice Thomas 46:27

Right? I can't, I don't think there's a type that doesn't nag. Well, that's not true. I wonder if fives nag those, they just shut down against you, and don't tell you why they're mad at you.

Lisa Beres 46:40

Okay, what is the seven where do we hold the health issue?

Candice Thomas 46:44

Yeah, so sevens, I do see a lot of addiction to uppers, right to things that make themselves feel better. So this could be coffee, right? You know, no, but I mean just things that stimulate I see a lot of sevens drinking energy drinks and drinking coffee, and they can have a major sugar habit that I'm self medicating all day with my special treats, right? And so because I'm seeking that nurturing, yeah, but also, I actually do find that there is a cancer trend in the type sevens. And so cancer is generally for type ones. Also, I'm going to say cancer is repressed anger, right? So that's basically what cancer is. And then the location of where you're experiencing it is a further clue of what kind of anger you're holding. So sevens will get breast cancer, because breast cancer is anger about having not been nurtured as a child, right?

Lisa Beres 47:45

So Candace, not us. Well,

Candice Thomas 47:49

I love and accept the part of me who feels anger about not having been nurtured, right? Figure

Ron Beres 47:55

out how type one also got the same thing as type seven, but also had another problem,

Lisa Beres 48:00

type one, that's a problem. You're

Ron Beres 48:03

not breathing. You are prone to this. Well,

Candice Thomas 48:06

I mean, I hate to admit this to my fellow type sevens, but I do find that sevens have less health elements than most others. They are committed to their own happiness. Out of all nine types, the type seven is the only type that puts their own happiness as their highest priority.

Lisa Beres 48:24

Ooh, isn't that interesting? Yeah, right, you

Candice Thomas 48:28

would think like, doesn't everybody want to be happy when you're talking about, you know, actually, all the other types have a principle that they value higher than their happiness. Oh, that's interesting. And so they will sacrifice the happiness in favor of something else. So the fact that the type seven, pretty much is always looking to enjoy their life, yeah? Is a good end up with better health. Yeah?

Lisa Beres 48:52

Because you have spiritual doormats, right? You have people that want to be good. And then we talked about some of the whichever number that was, but we'll let people walk over you, right? We'll do that to a fault, giving kindness to a fault, right? And not having that right, love to say no to something, right,

Candice Thomas 49:10

right? Yeah, so the Type Two is always putting themselves in a win, lose, right? Where you get to win and I get to lose, but a type seven is looking for a win. Win, right?

Unknown Speaker 49:21

Okay, that's good.

Ron Beres 49:22

There's some types that are just so close that, like, over your life, you just change types. And I'm not asking because

Lisa Beres 49:27

I want to switch out a type. You want to be a seven now you want to come over to the seven side. Can

Ron Beres 49:32

that even happen? I mean, is it? Are there? You switch?

Candice Thomas 49:34

It's that you expand. You grow. It once you learn the trick to managing your feelings, to getting out of that chatter and getting into the heart, you've sort of unlocked yourself, and now you're going to start accessing the high side of yourself, the high side of your arrows, which right those two other sides, there's something called your wing, which is the type on either side of your numbers. So as a type seven, you might have a type six wing or a type eight wing. Oh, everybody's wings are different as a type one. It's like, if you put the numbers in a circle, what are the number on either side of you? So type one, your wings would be a type two or a type nine, right? So you would want to read about those types and see, oh, do I share traits with some of those? So it's like, once you figure out how to stabilize yourself, how to make yourself happy, then you start really letting go of the limiting aspects of your type, and you can you don't want to

Lisa Beres 50:34

change your type. You want to embrace it. You want to embrace the good parts, right?

Candice Thomas 50:38

It's like when you're in your primal persona. You're just living in a little liver of life, right? It's like, I think the world works like me, you know? And it's a tight little right? There's not much flexibility. But once you start learning about this system, learning about other you become more accepting, you become more forgiving, you find out how to make yourself happier. You start learning from other people and saying, Oh, I didn't realize there were other ways to look at this, like maybe I should do it like they're doing it, or I could see the value of that perspective, and you just open up enormously.

Lisa Beres 51:12

Really, wow, good stuff.

Ron Beres 51:14

So I'm curious. Candice, how difficult is it for people to get past their unconscious programming once they access their vitality. Personality, for examples, or is there work done once they access their vitality? Personality,

Candice Thomas 51:27

yeah, it's never done. We kind of go back and forth all day, right? Yeah. Turn out it's a great day. Blue sky. I'm feeling good, and then I go to work and my boss tells me I'm an idiot, and now I'm in a less great mood, right? And now I'm mad at the traffic, and now I'm annoyed by the cashier, and so you're up and down, but what I would say is that your home base baseline is elevating over time, right? What used to be, your average mood is higher than it used to be, and you become more resilient. You are quicker at pulling yourself back to center when you see you're sort of getting off track. So it gets easier and easier to be in your vitality personality, but there's always something trying to knock you back into there's always a persona, right? Yeah, right.

Lisa Beres 52:20

We've all had that where we're like, nothing's gonna get me down, and then, boom, something does Yeah, like, I thought it was so strong. Okay, this is amazing.

Ron Beres 52:30

Are you a meditator? Candace, do you meditate?

Candice Thomas 52:33

I'm a meditator, but type sevens are famously terrible meditator. Yeah, I want to give all my spanking, you know, because, no, I could possibly hold still for five minutes talking about, you

Lisa Beres 52:47

know, definitely like that, I do meditate Exactly. It's a struggle. Yeah, it

Candice Thomas 52:52

is a struggle. But I would say, for someone like that who feels a lot of resistance, most of us do feel resistance to meditating because our ego doesn't want us the escape hatch, basically, right? Yeah, learning to quiet that mind, learning to center yourself, that's shutting down the ego. The ego does not want to be shut down, so it's going to put up a lot of, oh no, you don't want to meditate. That would be so boring. Oh no, we should meditate, but don't want to. But that's where that sway exercise comes in, because that's easy to do. I don't have to feel like I have to be so still and quiet everything. I can just start doing this, and it starts to quiet me down anyway, right? So it's sort of a back door to meditating. Nice.

Ron Beres 53:40

You have the orb, so you're basically getting everything out of your mind, right? So you're just, you're trying to have no thought, right? So, and that was going for the heart space. Have you found that the architect is the best meditator? I'm joking. Positive. Okay, well, thank you. Okay.

Candice Thomas 53:57

Well, I want to tell you something positive, because I was married to a type one for 10 years. Okay, so, same as you guys, a type seven woman married to the type one man, I want to tell you what he did for me. Okay, the way he created order and structure for me, for the family, like he's the one who created a spreadsheet that went on the fridge that was everybody's chores on which day and but, you know, the budget,

Ron Beres 54:25

so much fun. Candace, you so but it's so helpful.

Candice Thomas 54:29

Like, you can't know how important that is for a type seven really struggles to be effective, right? They're always sidetracking themselves because they get distracted by the latest shiny thing, right? And the type one is so good at creating systems that help and that help you flow, and they're so practical. And seven have this kind of whirling dervish energy, and it's hard for us to root ourselves. But a type one is calm, cool and collective. It, right? They're just gonna quietly be like, Well, if you just did it this way, you wouldn't have any of that. Not think about, yeah, right, no. So type ones really well stabilized. Okay, it is the type seven. Ron creates

Lisa Beres 55:15

spreadsheets for me. It's true. I'm like, can you make me this spreadsheet? And because I you just like, so spot on. I'm like, Ah, yeah. 20 million things in my head, and I'm I need a spreadsheet to help me, like, see it and stay on path exactly. That's like, yes to a T, right?

Ron Beres 55:30

Read that was pretty accurate. Ron,

Candice Thomas 55:32

I know you think it doesn't sound that sexy to be the one who makes the spreadsheet, right? But just admit to yourself, if everybody actually took your advice and came to you and said, Ron, that rock my world. What you just did so you love it, right, right?

Ron Beres 55:49

Isn't that what it's all about? Yes, the type one is right. Isn't that the right thing to do? Percent? Yeah. I mean,

Candice Thomas 55:55

I even say in the book, it's like, okay, let's be honest. They are usually right, you know? Yeah, it,

Lisa Beres 56:05

yeah, created, my

Candice Thomas 56:07

husband created the budget, and he shows me, here's our beautiful budget. And I took one look at it, and I was like, where's the fun column? Yeah, like, what? I was like, you know, after me being a good girl and doing all these chores and paying all these bills, like, Where's my dinner in a movie? Like, I need my reward. And he was like, right? Fun, I forgot.

Lisa Beres 56:29

Yep, totally, I know. I'm the planner in the relationship. I plan all the fun stuff I do. I plan all that, right, round, all the social, all the travel, all of it, yeah, and that's fine. It actually works for us, because I like doing it, and then I get my spreadsheet together and see the spreadsheet and watch out. Okay, enough about us. Candace, this was so amazing. Thank you so much for being with us today and friends, you can learn more about Candace and her wonderful work at your vitality personality.com and head there right now to take her free quiz. You're going to be blown away when you get the results,

Ron Beres 57:05

yes. And guys, please be sure to review our show and subscribe. So we continue to bring you excellent guests like Candace. It was awesome today. Thanks Candace. Head to www.healthyhomehacks.com for all the links and show notes, and we'll see you on the next episode. Bye, everyone. Thanks.

Narrator 57:28

This episode of the Healthy Home hacks podcast has ended, but be sure to subscribe for more healthy living strategies and tactics to help you create the healthy home you always dreamed of, and don't forget to rate and review so we can continue to bring you the best content. See you on the next episode you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai